was I wearing a tiara when I came in here?

Here is a confession: I like television. I like television a lot. Get me going, and I can talk at length about all of it — opening credits (is it weird to no one else that for the last few seasons, the last shot of Buffy in the opening sequence was actually Buffy-bot?), the will-they-won’t-they of it all (they often will!), how hard it is to take a show’s first season seriously when the main character’s hair is so bad, the suspension of disbelief that’s often necessary to really get into a show (hello, Doctor Who), etc.

There’s a lot I haven’t watched, but there’s a lot I have. So, in my limited experience, here is a list and then some of my favorite television moments.

5. Louie: Daddy’s Girlfriend Part 2, 3.5

This episode! It’s amazing. First on the list cause it’s the newest / I haven’t had a chance to let it resurface in my subconscious yet. But I know it will get there. Parker Posey is amazing in this. And then there’s that ending, Louie’s furrowed brow, his refusal to climb the stairs. This scene, though, especially, because it is just so bare. Louie wants so much, so much, but what he wants is this general idea he can put those wants into, which somehow translated into being fed fish at Russ & Daughters.

Parker Posey nailed it in an interview: “You don’t think he’s a creep? He’s like skulking in there in a bookstore? Are you kidding? He’s telling her who she is! It’s somewhat sadistic, right? I mean he’s already written her dialogue for her. He comes up to her and he’s talking and what he’s saying is just like a mouthful of what he thinks she’s thinking. And she goes, ‘Yeah, I’ll go along, I’ll be your projection,’ you know?”

Read the rest of the interview with Parker Posey here.

4. Twin Peaks: Episode #1.2

Do I need to say more about this one? I mean, do I?

3. Friends: The One With the Morning After, 3.16

Ross: She was…. Joey: Awful! Chandler: Not good! Not good! Joey: Nothing compared to you. Ross: Different. Joey: No! Chandler: Uh Oh.

Watching Friends is, for me, like eating cake and sipping on tea and then falling asleep on the sofa. Epitome of comfort. There is a lot of television that’s much better than Friends, but I like this episode, so here.

“Are you actually saying these words?”

2. Parks & Recreation: Flu Season, 3.2

“Good evening everyone. I’m Leslie Monster and this is Nightline.”

I think I’ve watched this episode at least a dozen times. Like four times the week it first aired, and then continuously every week after until I died. It’s so quotable, I had to stop myself from just ruining the entire thing for anyone who hasn’t seen it. But really, look at Adam Scott in that screenshot. Just look at him. And then in the end with the chicken soup. And Leslie saying, “was I wearing a tiara when I came in here? because if you happen upon it, would you have lady pennyface retrieve it and send it posthence.” And her cartwheels. Oh, AND, Ron Swanson giggling.

1. Freaks and Geeks: Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers, 1.14

This is my number one forever favorite. Probably because it’s the perfect summation of this entire list. I have many Bill Haverchuck feelings.

Also, it’s so worth reading Paul Feig’s rundown of the whole series over at the AV Club.

Runner’s Up:

The Office: Injury, 2.12. “I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So … most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then, I wake up, to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it’s good for me, it’s the perfect way to start the day. Today, I got up, I stepped onto the grill, and it clamped down on my foot, that’s it. I don’t see what’s so hard to believe about that.”
Louie: Subway; Pamela, 2.6. Linky.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Frank Sets Sweet Dee On Fire, 3.8. Mac: Hey, what if we set up like a conveyor belt situation, right? Put the cats on that and at the end of it, a chopping mechanism. Charlie: Aw yeah! Let’s chop cats! Let’s chop cats! Mac: No, we don’t actually chop the cats. We––Dee grabs them before they get chopped. Charlie: Well, we’ll chop a couple cats, just so you know it’s real. THE VIDEO.
Party Down: Not On Your Wife Opening Night, 2.6. The list wouldn’t be complete without Party Down. Magnificent! (Two points for Martin Starr.)

This whole thing is, of course, highly subjective and culled from whatever was swimming around at the top of my brain. Feel free to repute! I probably will have thought of ten more scenes that I love even more than these by noon today.

Oh, and as an added bonus, here’s Parker Posey & Louis C.K., flirting in a Brooklyn bookstore: