Things Strangers Have Said To Me, In Order Of My Horror

  1. “Hey. I like your shorts.”
  2. (a surprise, from behind me) “Hey, want me to cut your hair for free? Ha ha ha ha ha JUST JOKING.”
  3. “You! Hey, you! Marry me!”
  4. “God created women to have children. So why don’t you want to have kids?”
  5. “Miss! You want?” (offering me a strip of condoms at 10:30 AM)
  6. “Do you want to join my social network? Of two?”
  7. “Are you Michelle Branch? Okay, bye Michelle!”
  8. “Did we go to high school together?”
  9. Tied, both said to me in my neighborhood in Bushwick: “Um, do you like, know where the bus to the beach is?” and, “YOLO!”
  10. “I’m gonna hit her with a sledgehammer. Not you, her. Bitch!”

Which prompted me to make this on Zazzle:


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