A List of Things I Wish People Had Told Me, or Get a Therapist Already!

1. When you make pasta, you need to put so much salt in the water that it tastes like brine.

2. Only creeps use free WiFi at the library.

3. Just because he has the same taste in books doesn’t mean he’s not an idiot.

4. Just because he doesn’t read doesn’t mean he’s an idiot. (But it is a very very strong indicator)

5. You will never, ever have enough shelves.

6. Recycling is a never ending cycle of putting different shit in different boxes; cleaning is entropy. You will never be done with any of it.

7. You look great in yellow!

8. You look terrible with all those accessories in your hair!

9. The subway schedule is always +/- 3 minutes, but never the actual time.

10. Some days, you will wake up feeling like you have nothing to say to anyone. You will eat pasta three meals a day, until pasta sauce takes like nothing, so familiar is it to you. Unshowered, you will sprawl out on your bed wearing the same sweatpants and hoodie you fell asleep in, watching episode after episode of Archer. You will feel like the fog outside is crawling in through the windows and clouding your brain. You will realize that all of the sharpness and ambition that got you out of bed yesterday was all so much bluster. You will feel time slipping away like so much sand (you know, through your fingers and your toes) and you will think, oh no. This could be the rest of my life.

11. Most days, you won’t. When you think you’re inspired, it’s because you’re working hard enough. It’s not the world. It’s you.

13. Get it together. You’re going to be okay.

 

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