Tell an outrageous – but convincing! – lie to a stranger.
Speaking of singing, host and judge a small but serious Best Impressions contest with bosom friends. You may choose from the following musical artists: Billy Corgan, Eddie Vedder, Dave Matthews. Don’t get too competitive, though. Know that I’m going to beat all of you at everything in the final face-off.
Ruthlessly ridicule all of your fortune cookies.
If feeling particularly oppressed, write a letter to your oppressor inspired by Neil Young’s 1988 tirade to MTV. Take special delight in the term ‘you spineless twerps.’ Attempt to use this phrase three times today.
Read a poem. Specifically, read this poem. (This poem is called Love, it’s by Matthew Dickman)
Consider getting one of these tattoos. Or, if you’re not into that, just take a moment to appreciate them.
Buy this book – – or better yet, buy two copies. One for me. We’ll discuss at length. 10B: read and ponder the above article if today is a day you’ve decided to inject with self-pity and a fear of dying before you publish.
Once it is night, try to stargaze. There are at least five constellations visible in even the brightest parts of New York. Report back on your findings.
Take deep stock of any documents on your computer called ‘Tenuous Stand Up Comedy Routine.’ Revisit these. Resist the urge; withhold judgment. Think of these ladies and rejoice:
A cliché, but worth it: text an old friend. If afeard, you can pretend it’s a butt text and then still see if it sparks a real conversation.