To the baby in the next room:
Sleep, little one, sleep–
the more you wax unconscious,
the more work I do.
To the man who walked too close to me this morning:
Are you following
me? Or did I simply crash
your tread-path party?
To my new super, whom I’m meeting today:
Juan, your name sounds strong,
but you weirded me out, said,
“The keys are IN there.”
To my parents:
I promise I’m not
dead, I just can’t find a god
damn minute to call.
To the woman who rang up my bagel this morning:
Your bedside manner
is improving–wait, I mean
customer service.
To the tickle at the back of my throat (re: not a person):
I will drown you in
Vitamin C and fluids,
you motherf*cker.
To the cat laid out in front of me (re: not quite a person):
You are snoring, Cat.
I would like to be snoring.
Stop rubbing it in.
The Adelpheans 
This is clever.